Not so Brave
Ok so I had to get these moles taken off today. I didn't think it was gonna be a big deal since the spots would be numb and I wouldn't feel much. For the most part I was totally right, blood and stuff doesn't bother me so even while my blood was running down my neck and I could totally feel it I wasn't bothered at all. Then I stood up and got all light headed and almost fainted. I'm such a nerd! I mean I'm acting all tough and then I get all pale and can't even walk out to the car without almost fainting! Lord. Oh well I guess there's nothing I can do about that. I was cool to see the moles off though. I'm kinda weird like that but it was rather interesting. Now they hurt like crap though. The numbing stuff has worn off and even though I'm really tired I can't sleep because they hurt and I can't get comfortable! How dumb is that? I have so much more sympathy for my mom since she's had six of these surgeries done! However during mine I was talking to God pretty much the entire time so that was good. It's kinda nice to have someone to talk to without actually having to talk. I've been doing that more lately. Like just randomly talking to God, especially while I'm volunteering at the hospital. And I pray for the patients too so that's cool. It's really cool because my relationship with God is most definatly becoming more and more real and personal. It's not so structured like at all anymore and I can just be real with Him. I think that's the challenge for most people. Getting to the place where you can just be yourself with God, even if who you are at the moment isn't very "Godly". I seriously don't think He's expecting us to be Godly all the time. I mean when you first get saved you aren't godly and you can totally come to Him, but as time goes on sometimes people and circumstances make you feel like you have to be "just so" or else you're not worthy or good enough to serve and go to God. That's so not how it is, because Jesus makes us good enough. I always have to remember that if works makes me good enough to God, then what Jesus did is pointless and I know that's not the case. So yeah God's just revealing more of Himself to me, and showing me how real I can be with Him. It's a very good thing.